I’m going to share my small, little adoption story with you – so far.
It’s actually not much of a story yet. We are waiting on the Lord for his perfect timing, but we know that this is what He has called us to do and we know that our child is coming, or lie in wait as do we. Our first son, Sam, was named after the story in Samuel when Hannah prayed and prayed for a child. When she did finally conceive she called her boy, “Samuel”, meaning “God heard my prayer”. Three months after my husband and I got married we found out that I have P.C.O.S. or Polycyctic Ovarian Syndrome. Basically, along with a bunch of other crap, this means that I am mostly infertile.
After almost 2 years of trying to get pregnant I conceived Sam with the help of the fertility drug called Clomidiphene. Once I was pregnant I developed pain and they scanned for an ectopic pregnancy, but determined that Sam was stuck where he was supposed to be, healthily. We patiently waited and prayed for his arrival, but before this happened I developed Pubic Symphysis Displacia, Gestational Diabetes, and Obstetric Cholestasis, which basically means my liver wasn’t supporting Sam, so I was induced at 36 weeks and he was born at 4 weeks premature. He was really jaundiced, in part to my liver not flushing his system out, but otherwise he was fine. More than fine, that little man was strong, persistent, and so freakin adorable. Perfect. My kid. My Sam was safe.
And now here we are. We really want more children. In fact, when we got married we planned on having 3-5 kids, but now we’re not sure if that’s going to happen. I do know that I’m afraid to get pregnant again. My dad has begged me not to. My mom doesn’t think it’s safe. The midwives have told me that there is a significant chance that the same thing would happen again, if not worse this time, if I were to have a child naturally. And since Sam was 6 months or so we’ve been praying that God would lead us to a child (or children) that we could adopt. Naturally, we’ve also prayed that if this desire isn’t of God that he would take it away. But the desire has grown and everytime I talk about it out loud it seems that Rick and I get a very distinct sign from God that we are to adopt.
There are many obstacles in this road, though, many monetary. If you’ve read my blog before you know that we’re pretty poor people. In fact, we never have enough for bills and living costs. We are trying to fix that. I even have a 4 year degree, but I can’t seem to find a good job that affords us for Rick to quit his job so that he can be a stay-at-home dad. Ideally, we’d like for me to be the at-home parent, but either way we’re praying that one of us can find a job that will take care of all of us and our bills because daycare has just never been an option for us.
In comes, suddenly, our church. And here comes my humility. The associate pastor at my church and his wife have adopted children. And they talk about it all the time – their happiness, how wonderful God is, how He has answered all their prayers for their happy little family. And everytime they talked about it I shuddered with sheer jealousy. Amazing jealousy. Stuff that made me wish that I was them. Sometimes I’d feel so sorry for myself that I couldn’t stand going to church. I want more children so badly and I felt so abandoned, so poor.
(This is the best part.) For a few other reasons Rick and I decided to search for another church and after talking it through with the lead pastor we decided to come back. That was emotional in and of itself, but the day we came back was the day before they were to leave for Ethiopia to start an orphanage. And this, right afer I had spent the whole worship part of the service praying that God forgive me for being jealous of them and to open my heart in order to just be happy that they have so much. Who knew that these would be the people who would bring my child into reach? Certainly not I! All I wanted was to get over myself. God always brings things a step further, convincing us of His complete love for us, doesn’t He?
Tonight they had a small informational meeting in order to explain everything. You can read all about that here: http://kingdomvisioninternational.blogspot.com/ and here: http://kingdomvisioninternational.org/
We still don’t have enough money. We still don’t have a nice enough house. We still don’t have a social worker, aren’t set up with an agency, and haven’t received the word from God, but it’s coming. That day in church our pastor started talking about the orphanage and their mission and Rick and I felt God speaking to us, calling out to us, confirming for us His presence, His plan, and His assurance that if we were patient He would bring this child of ours home. In fact, Rick couldn’t even look at me because He knew at the exact moment that I did and knew he’d cry if He looked at me.
Please all, check this site out. Please pray for the organization and for our church, and please contact me if you’d like to sponsor a child, family, or give in some other way. I’d be happy to get some information for you. Most importantly, though, please keep us and everyone involved in your prayers and please let’s all continue to worship God for His loving faithfulness.